Collegiate Contemplation
Arriving on campus and moving into the dorm where I’d be starting my college journey seems so long ago. I’ve always been told that your college years fly by, but I cannot honestly pretend that that has been the case for me. I have struggled, I have grown, and I cannot wait any longer to finally live life on my own terms. However, I have truly experienced so much over these past four years and I find it extremely worthwhile to reflect upon this time before graduation. Therefore, without further ado, this reflection will work to illuminate my entire collegiate career in association with my Community, Environment, and Planning pathway.
Freshman
Remember: Starting at the very beginning, on the cusp of becoming a student at the University of Washington, I intended upon pursuing architecture. I had always loved drawing and design and consequently never really gave any other majors a chance. In addition, I never really had a clue of what UW had to offer, all I knew was that I had to gain acceptance. I come from a low-income home and was made aware at a young age that my family would never be able to help support me through college. As a result, I earned an A in every single class I had ever taken from the 7th grade through to graduating high school. I had to, it was expected of me, and it was my only chance at earning scholarships and financial aid to send me to college. So there I was, all of my hard work finally paying off, being accepted into one of the best schools in the region, and yet I was completely blind to where I was truly headed. I left my hometown, moved into Haggett Hall, and enrolled in a freshman interest group based around architecture.
Reflect: To say the least, my freshman year took a lot of getting used to. I remember it being extremely hard for me because none of my friends made it to college. Back in high school, no one took education seriously and because of that, I entered the UW with maybe seven other kids from my graduating class. I am also not an extravert in any sense of the word, so meeting new people was difficult. I lived in the dorms, I attended my large lecture classes, and then headed straight back every day. It also took me a while to acclimate to the college structure. I was so used to winning teachers over, completing daily assignments, and simply participating in class. It terrified me to know that in college my entire grade could be dependent upon just three exams. At the time, it seemed as though freshman year was supposed to be one big mess. However, looking back now, it disappoints me to realize all of the opportunities I neglected while feeling sorry for myself, lonely and in a rut. I couldn’t wait for spring quarter to end so I could rush back home and feel as though nothing had ever changed. Ultimately, I am very unhappy with my freshman year. I had no friends to engage with, I took generalized credits I had absolutely no interest in, and I was caught in a monotonous daily cycle. I will always be grateful for the opportunity to attend UW but looking back, I spent the bulk of my first year frustrated and lost.
Reflect: To say the least, my freshman year took a lot of getting used to. I remember it being extremely hard for me because none of my friends made it to college. Back in high school, no one took education seriously and because of that, I entered the UW with maybe seven other kids from my graduating class. I am also not an extravert in any sense of the word, so meeting new people was difficult. I lived in the dorms, I attended my large lecture classes, and then headed straight back every day. It also took me a while to acclimate to the college structure. I was so used to winning teachers over, completing daily assignments, and simply participating in class. It terrified me to know that in college my entire grade could be dependent upon just three exams. At the time, it seemed as though freshman year was supposed to be one big mess. However, looking back now, it disappoints me to realize all of the opportunities I neglected while feeling sorry for myself, lonely and in a rut. I couldn’t wait for spring quarter to end so I could rush back home and feel as though nothing had ever changed. Ultimately, I am very unhappy with my freshman year. I had no friends to engage with, I took generalized credits I had absolutely no interest in, and I was caught in a monotonous daily cycle. I will always be grateful for the opportunity to attend UW but looking back, I spent the bulk of my first year frustrated and lost.
Sophomore
Remember: My Sophomore year was a lot more positive. I reconnected with a friend from high school who introduced me to the Greek system and I eventually ended up joining his fraternity. I became a lot happier and more productive as a part of the chapter. I made many new friends, I was elected to leadership positions, and was introduced to a multitude of new social events. However, academically I was still aimless. I found myself trying to complete all my general education credits as fast as I could. Once again, I was always told that college was the place where you can finally take whatever classes you want to truly explore your passions and figure out your future career. However, I remember hating the generalized courses; courses unrelated to each other or to anything I wanted to have a hand in in the future. Around this time, I started looking into different major’s requirements for application and found that I was already behind for a lot of departments. They required extensive prerequisites that I didn’t have the time for since most programs started accepting applicants at the end of sophomore year. This discouraged me in a lot of ways but also made me dig deep and focus on where I was actually headed. Still interested in design but falling out of love with architecture, I stayed within the College of built Environments and settled on Community, Environment, and Planning.
Reflect: Looking back now, I honestly regret the naive mindset I had as a sophomore. I really treated the general requirements as credits that needed to be accomplished rather than courses that needed to be explored. I realize now that I was waiting for classes to actually matter when I could have been putting in the intentional effort to make them matter to me. I really wish I would have taken more time to plan out an academic pathway. I wish I would have connected the dots between courses or at least took courses that expanded my thinking. I was much more focused on checking boxes and having a good schedule than trying out new things. Currently, I understand that life is made up of experiences and I wish I wouldn’t have narrowed mine at a truly pivotal point. However, missed exploration aside, this period of time was beneficial as I came out with a direction and a purpose. I had put a lot of thought into what a realistic career looked like within the field of architecture and realized I didn’t enjoy the prospects. I discovered that my skills and passions were much more suited toward urban design. I preferred organizing space and designing landscapes to worrying about structures or picking out windows. I preferred engaging with communities and experiencing site dynamics to dealing with developers or filing papers in a firm. All in all, even though those may be gross generalizations, I’m happy with my ultimate decision to leave architecture behind. This was a critical stage in my college career and I found myself excited for the new field I was beginning to explore.
Reflect: Looking back now, I honestly regret the naive mindset I had as a sophomore. I really treated the general requirements as credits that needed to be accomplished rather than courses that needed to be explored. I realize now that I was waiting for classes to actually matter when I could have been putting in the intentional effort to make them matter to me. I really wish I would have taken more time to plan out an academic pathway. I wish I would have connected the dots between courses or at least took courses that expanded my thinking. I was much more focused on checking boxes and having a good schedule than trying out new things. Currently, I understand that life is made up of experiences and I wish I wouldn’t have narrowed mine at a truly pivotal point. However, missed exploration aside, this period of time was beneficial as I came out with a direction and a purpose. I had put a lot of thought into what a realistic career looked like within the field of architecture and realized I didn’t enjoy the prospects. I discovered that my skills and passions were much more suited toward urban design. I preferred organizing space and designing landscapes to worrying about structures or picking out windows. I preferred engaging with communities and experiencing site dynamics to dealing with developers or filing papers in a firm. All in all, even though those may be gross generalizations, I’m happy with my ultimate decision to leave architecture behind. This was a critical stage in my college career and I found myself excited for the new field I was beginning to explore.
Junior
Remember: Upon being accepted in to the Community, Environment, and Planning major, I was excited to simply belong to a department and have a solidified program. However, internally I still felt uncomfortable. I didn’t feel as though I belonged within the major. Everyone seemed so engaged, everyone belonged to clubs and campus groups, and everyone was so environmentally conscious and socially aware. To tell you the truth, I never thought twice about what was happening to the environment and I never had to recognize myself as a white male. I had a much more sheltered, straightforward, here-to-work personality. Which was made evident at our CEP orientation where I was one of two people that was classified as a results driven management worker. Everyone else was creative, exploratory, open to new ideas, fun loving and carefree. Aside from my personality meshing with the group, I was also unsure if I was actually in the right place regarding the curriculum. I joined this major for urban planning yet my first two classes were a philosophy discussion and an environmental resource science class. I wanted buildings, cities, site plans, layouts, etc. and I continuously questioned myself if I was in the right place and if I had made the right decision. At the time, I believed that your college major and diploma were the only thing that mattered and I was devastated to think that mine wasn’t going to be good enough.
Reflect: Reflecting on this stage in my collegiate career and putting words to the thoughts and feelings I had at the time is extremely difficult. Day in and day out, I found it exceptionally challenging to connect with the students in my cohort for a multitude of reasons. Whether it was different social classes and political backgrounds or general hobbies and interests, I consistently felt like the odd man out. As much as I’d like to think this didn’t bother me, it really pulled on me every day knowing that the whole structure of CEP was based around a tightknit community. In addition to feeling like an outsider within the social context of CEP, I was also exceedingly discouraged by the content of the courses. At the moment, I thought it was a huge waste of time to discuss ancient philosophy when we were supposed to be learning about contemporary communities. Then in the next quarter, I wasn’t as dismayed with the primary content of the course, but instead by the horribly ineffective way the class was taught. Finally, by spring I felt relieved and ultimately thrived in Marty’s class where we actually investigated site planning in local neighborhoods. Looking back now, I realize that I let my planning and design focus narrow my vision. Outside of the context of planning, I actually really enjoyed CEP 301. It was a challenging course that forced me to expand my thinking. I still have very few positive words to say about CEP 301, but I do recognize the value now in knowing what environmental policy looks like. Lastly, though dealing with my social and intellectual concerns, I was able to find solace coming out of CEP 303 and heading straight into CEP 460, Planning in Context.
Reflect: Reflecting on this stage in my collegiate career and putting words to the thoughts and feelings I had at the time is extremely difficult. Day in and day out, I found it exceptionally challenging to connect with the students in my cohort for a multitude of reasons. Whether it was different social classes and political backgrounds or general hobbies and interests, I consistently felt like the odd man out. As much as I’d like to think this didn’t bother me, it really pulled on me every day knowing that the whole structure of CEP was based around a tightknit community. In addition to feeling like an outsider within the social context of CEP, I was also exceedingly discouraged by the content of the courses. At the moment, I thought it was a huge waste of time to discuss ancient philosophy when we were supposed to be learning about contemporary communities. Then in the next quarter, I wasn’t as dismayed with the primary content of the course, but instead by the horribly ineffective way the class was taught. Finally, by spring I felt relieved and ultimately thrived in Marty’s class where we actually investigated site planning in local neighborhoods. Looking back now, I realize that I let my planning and design focus narrow my vision. Outside of the context of planning, I actually really enjoyed CEP 301. It was a challenging course that forced me to expand my thinking. I still have very few positive words to say about CEP 301, but I do recognize the value now in knowing what environmental policy looks like. Lastly, though dealing with my social and intellectual concerns, I was able to find solace coming out of CEP 303 and heading straight into CEP 460, Planning in Context.
Senior
Remember: By my senior year, I had calmed down and accepted my fate moving forward. I was a member of CEP, I had a capstone to complete, and three more quarters of college to go. Additionally, by this time I had finally grown enough to become extremely intentional about my learning. Although I felt as though I wasn’t receiving what I wanted or needed from the core courses, CEP allowed me to construct my own academic pathway. Through this availability of credits, I was finally able to take courses that I was sincerely interested in and that applied to my future. I signed up for a Landscape Architecture Site Planning course to supplement my need for design. I enrolled in an Urban Growth Management course to provide me with readily applicable planning knowledge and experience. I took a class on American Architectural History to satisfy my interest in structure and form. And to pull everything together, I culminated my senior year with a course on Ecological Design and Planning, to infuse my urban planning focus with environmental conservation. Furthermore, I broke down the imaginable barrier between myself and the rest of my cohort and truly engaged with my classmates as friends. Overall, throughout my senior year, I worked on myself, I came out of my shell, and I took control of my future.
Reflect: In summation, my roller coaster of a college career ended on a high note. Looking back, I do regret being so reserved and taking so long to warm up to the rest of the major; especially because it restricted me from attending extracurricular CEP events. My fondest memory honestly may be my most recent: Being able to watch my classmates excel and proudly present their senior projects, followed by a strong sense of unity. We were all in this together and collectively we got to feel an immense weight being lifted off our shoulders. This of course was complemented nicely by the pints of beer and celebration afterwards. All in all, this senior year has been tremendously stressful, however I felt in control the entire time. I recognized the love and support from those around me; I successfully carried out an intensive long term research project of my own design; I dedicated countless hours to community engagement work through my internship; and I wholeheartedly realized that I am ready for the next stage of my life.
Reflect: In summation, my roller coaster of a college career ended on a high note. Looking back, I do regret being so reserved and taking so long to warm up to the rest of the major; especially because it restricted me from attending extracurricular CEP events. My fondest memory honestly may be my most recent: Being able to watch my classmates excel and proudly present their senior projects, followed by a strong sense of unity. We were all in this together and collectively we got to feel an immense weight being lifted off our shoulders. This of course was complemented nicely by the pints of beer and celebration afterwards. All in all, this senior year has been tremendously stressful, however I felt in control the entire time. I recognized the love and support from those around me; I successfully carried out an intensive long term research project of my own design; I dedicated countless hours to community engagement work through my internship; and I wholeheartedly realized that I am ready for the next stage of my life.
Present
At this present moment I am extremely grateful for the people I have met in CEP; so much so that I feel the need to name drop. Kelly Hostetler has been one of the most helpful, responsible, and caring advisors I have ever had. Every time I was panicking about credits or concerned about grades, Kelly remained calm and always had all of the answers I needed. Even if I had built up excess stress and needed to simply talk through it aloud with someone, Kelly always took the time to reassure me. Kelly is simply an amazing dedicated advisor, instructor, and individual.
Moreover, I feel compelled to include a brief shout-out to Keith Harris. Keith is by far one of the coolest and most engaging professors I have had at the University of Washington. In Urban Planning 450, Keith was able rework dry growth policies and practices into an interesting and stimulating curriculum. In CEP 461, Keith led the required discussions while truly invested in what the students wanted to learn and take away from the class. He should most definitely be stolen away from the CHID program and hired as full time CEP.
Next up, Christopher Campbell, who has probably impacted my journey the most. First off, Chris was a major factor in why I chose to apply to the CEP program in the first place. As I mentioned before, as a young student I hated the idea of mandatory generalized education credits. During CEP 200 with Marty, I thought it’d be a good idea to mention that while Chris was going through his “why are you here” exercise about college. He then proceeded to destroy my entire argument and made me reevaluate what I really wanted out of my education. Secondly, throughout getting to know Chris as my professor and TA-ing for his class, he consistently puts me in awe. He carries himself so professionally, so intelligent, so elite, yet so childish, so carefree, and so relaxed. He humbly proves that you can be a lost college student, majoring in African Studies, and still work your way to the top of a wholly inapplicable field. Lastly, without Chris, I would have been completely satisfied with a CEP degree. Instead, he pulled me aside and told me that I should be looking into Masters Programs at a time when I wasn’t even sure what Graduate School was. Ultimately, I’m thankful for having met Chris because he called me on my bullshit, constantly challenged me to work harder, and inspired me to continue my education.
Lastly, I’d like to thank the entire cohort of 2017 for helping me gain so many new perspectives and ultimately for contributing to my new outlook on life. Even though I spent much of my time in CEP relatively reserved, I was able to pull bits and pieces from the collection of amazing people around me to help improve myself and my lifestyle. Coming out of high school I littered, I thought buses were for the homeless, I never went out of my way to help others, and I thought I was a republican. I was honestly just unattached and living in my own world. However, between the values of my class mates and the course work of CEP, I was able to transform how I approach life. Now, I care very much about the current condition and future of the environment, I ride the bus almost every day, I seek out new opportunities to help others less fortunate than me, and although I hate the two party system, I am sure as hell not a republican.
In closing, even though my mother has no real connection to or understanding of CEP, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention her for being my rock and motivation throughout my entire life.
Moreover, I feel compelled to include a brief shout-out to Keith Harris. Keith is by far one of the coolest and most engaging professors I have had at the University of Washington. In Urban Planning 450, Keith was able rework dry growth policies and practices into an interesting and stimulating curriculum. In CEP 461, Keith led the required discussions while truly invested in what the students wanted to learn and take away from the class. He should most definitely be stolen away from the CHID program and hired as full time CEP.
Next up, Christopher Campbell, who has probably impacted my journey the most. First off, Chris was a major factor in why I chose to apply to the CEP program in the first place. As I mentioned before, as a young student I hated the idea of mandatory generalized education credits. During CEP 200 with Marty, I thought it’d be a good idea to mention that while Chris was going through his “why are you here” exercise about college. He then proceeded to destroy my entire argument and made me reevaluate what I really wanted out of my education. Secondly, throughout getting to know Chris as my professor and TA-ing for his class, he consistently puts me in awe. He carries himself so professionally, so intelligent, so elite, yet so childish, so carefree, and so relaxed. He humbly proves that you can be a lost college student, majoring in African Studies, and still work your way to the top of a wholly inapplicable field. Lastly, without Chris, I would have been completely satisfied with a CEP degree. Instead, he pulled me aside and told me that I should be looking into Masters Programs at a time when I wasn’t even sure what Graduate School was. Ultimately, I’m thankful for having met Chris because he called me on my bullshit, constantly challenged me to work harder, and inspired me to continue my education.
Lastly, I’d like to thank the entire cohort of 2017 for helping me gain so many new perspectives and ultimately for contributing to my new outlook on life. Even though I spent much of my time in CEP relatively reserved, I was able to pull bits and pieces from the collection of amazing people around me to help improve myself and my lifestyle. Coming out of high school I littered, I thought buses were for the homeless, I never went out of my way to help others, and I thought I was a republican. I was honestly just unattached and living in my own world. However, between the values of my class mates and the course work of CEP, I was able to transform how I approach life. Now, I care very much about the current condition and future of the environment, I ride the bus almost every day, I seek out new opportunities to help others less fortunate than me, and although I hate the two party system, I am sure as hell not a republican.
In closing, even though my mother has no real connection to or understanding of CEP, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention her for being my rock and motivation throughout my entire life.
Future
Between looking back on the past four years and looking towards the future, I am honestly most excited about my current state of mind. Although I may not be content with the hard skills I’ve gained or the theory I’ve discussed in CEP; I am thrilled in the role CEP played in my understanding of what I want out of life. A combination of philosophy topics, personal struggles, the CEP environment, and new experiences has helped me see that all I really want is to be happy. I started college on a clear cut mission, determined to get a job and a pay grade. I was attributed all my motivation to attaining grades and treated college as a conduit. CEP helped me slow down, plan, reflect, and reevaluate my trajectory. I no longer want to jump out of college and lock myself into a career path. I no longer assess myself based on numerical achievement. Instead of planning out my life, I want to live carefree and live for the moment. CEP offered me a global perspective and from within that I was able to discover what I truly want with my time on this earth, to disregard social structures and achieve my own sense of Eudaimonia.